Life with a baby

It's amazing how different your life changes once you have a baby. even your outlook on everything!! Tucker is 3 1/2 months old now...i cant believe it. Actually I can since he had colic and so it was pretty hard haha. But he has come around and realized there is actually joy in life. He is just a cutie and Sean and I love him so much. He makes everything worth it when he smiles and giggles at you. Its funny how you can be so frustrated with your baby and then all the sudden they smile and you forget everything.

Tucker has discovered his voice and loves to tell stories. I have learned that I cant rock him to sleep because he will just keep talking and talking even though he is tired. So i have to just put him in his crib and he talks himself to sleep.

one of the things I have noticed that is way different in my life with Tucker is how you respond to crying. Dont get me wrong...I still go to Tucker and comfort him when he cries but it used to completely stress me out and I would get so frustrated. Now I can just keep talking to him and be like...your fine....nothings wrong. And I have to say everything is so much easier with that attitude that Tucker is just a fussy baby and loves to complain :-) I think he takes after his dad....dont tell.

He is now sleeping from 730 to 1030 and then eats. and then goes till 430 and eats again and then wakes up for the day at 830. So not too bad. He still isnt one of those babies that everyone brags about sleeping 12 hours thru the night. but he is better than he used to be so we are thrilled.

Sean went and spoke to his counselor at school and for sure he graduates December 2011. He could do it this summer but we decided for him to take it easy and work more in the summer. Plus we are in a great apartment and I am content where we are. And secretly I know when he graduates it means it's time to move and I live so close to my sister and best friends and I am scared to death of leaving them all. Aubreigh and I have always lived near to each other and see each other every week. So it breaks my heart thinking of living in different states soon.

But anyways I am an official stay home mom that loves getting together with other moms and just talking about babies and their differences. Its pretty funny. I am home all day just taking care of my little one so whenever anyone is bored...come visit!

Baby Tucker

Tucker is finally here with us and we are so happy to have him. It has definitely changed our lives so quickly. Who knew that you could be this tired and that nights could last so long!!!! For the first couple weeks he would NOT sleep in his own room and crib but he has finally gotten used to it (thank goodness) and he sleeps in there and wakes up every 3 hours to feed like clock work. Luckily I have an amazing husband that takes half the night for me and feeds him so I can get some sleep. We have to feed him bottles and I pump so he still gets my breastmilk. He had really bad jaundice and they wanted him to have his system flushed so we were ordered to give him bottles and some formula which made him hate breastfeeding. So we do bottles now :-) At least now I can actually see how many ounces he is getting and have peace of mind that he isnt starving.

Sunday on 10/10/10 I was having consistant contractions for the third day in a row so we decided to go into the hospital just to see if I had dilated anymore or anything. I had been to the doctor 2 days before then and I was at a 1 and 90% effaced. We were pretty sure we would get turned away but Sean really wanted a 10/10/10 baby and my induction date was just a few days away so we decided what the heck. Well of course I was the same but they could see my contractions were every 2-4 minutes apart and then they noticed that the baby's heartbeat was dropping during every contraction which made them nervous. So they decided to keep me and induce me slowly and watch the heartbeat of the baby. So I had to wear an oxygen mask for a couple hours to help the baby out since he seemed stressed with the contractions. They were going to do the balloon thing to help dilate me more and then start me on potosin. So the doctor comes in and he is one of the 2 that would deliver me depending who was on call. He is brand new so we didnt know him very well but he was in the WORST mood ever. Even the nurses were turned off by him. He came in and didnt even say hello. Literally just told me to open my legs and then he just about killed me. Without telling me he decided to do the whole dilating thing with his hand instead of the balloon. So im writhing in pain and my sister is running to my side to hold my hand. Then he finishes and takes his glove off and doesnt even say sorry or anything. he claims he was tired cuz it was 12:30 AM but its not like I wasnt tired too.

So i get on the potosin and waited awhile till I got an epidural. Then the next morning the other doctor came in and checked me and decided to break my water cuz i was at a 3 or 4. So I got the epidural which I was terrified of and it was not completely painless like so many people say. So that kicked in and it was heaven. They break my water and that was even better haha. But then all the sudden I start feeling really bad contractions again and they keep telling me to just push the button which I do and it does nothing for me. So I go from being dilated at a 6 to a 9 1/2 feeling every contraction with the epidural not working. The guy comes back in that did it and checked it and said that it must have pocketed or something in my spine and not gone thru or something so he re did it again. Then I went completely numb and was happy once again. But of course 20 min later I feel the contractions full on once again and they are telling me its time to push and I am freaking out that I am feeling everything. LUCKILY i felt every contraction like normal but down low I felt nothing. So the baby coming out was not painful...just the contractions. So I am one of the few people that the epidural doesnt work on.....just lovely.

So baby's head comes out first and then instead of having me just push him out the rest they quickly pull him out and rush him over to the table and he isnt crying and was completely blue. So the nurses are calling doctors and saying code blue and stuff and then calling the helicopter to get ready to transport. It was the worst feeling in the world being stuck on that bed and just seeing nurses running everywhere and knowing my baby wasnt breathing. They ended up bagging him and then I see them wrap him in a blanket and literally run out of the room with him. He didnt breathe for 8 minutes and they dont know why. His heart rate and everything else was great but he just didnt want to breathe or cry. Once he started breathing, he still needed help for the next 24 hours and was under oxygen and very close surveillance. He wasnt allowed to leave the nursery and I didnt get to see him for a few hours and I would have to go in there to see him. We were pretty scared and they ran tests on him the next couple days and could not figure out what was wrong. Finally the doctor came to us and told us he was a miracle and to put a smile on our faces and be grateful cuz no one will ever know why this happened. He said he had never seen this happen before where there was no damage or birth defect or something more serious. It is unheard of that he didnt breathe for so long and then all of the sudden started to. So we feel extremely blessed to have him here with us.

He weighed 6 lbs 15 oz and was 20 1/2 in long. He is just a little peanut. He just had his 2 week appt and he is in the 11th percentile for weight and 7th percentile for his head hahaha. Just tiny. It is definately a lot more work than I ever thought it would be to be a mom but I love it. Of course you have the brief moments of "what have I done" but they pass. I definitely never knew you could feel so much love so quickly for someone. And for it to be so strong. It is an experience I will never forget.

4 weeks left!

Who believes that is 4 weeks (hopefully) I am officially going to be a mother to a little boy. I cannot believe the time is getting so close but I am beyond excited. I am only at the beginning of the one month away countdown and it already seems like the longest month of my life haha. I just want to meet the little guy and get to know him and see what he looks like and see Sean interact with him and everything. There is just so much I am so excited for. Which is way nice cuz it distracts me from my fears of having a child as well.

the 3rd trimester hasnt been too shabby. I feel huge of course but Im not sick and everything is going well baby wise so I cant complain. The one complaint i do have is I now consider myself part werewolf because my husband and I discovered the other night my nice coat of darker hair I have grown on my back from the hormones this trimester. Luckily it goes away after giving birth and all will be normal but for now I am part of the wolf family.... It is so weird to think that next month I will have someone that is dependent on me and need me 24/7 and is my responsibility for the next 18+ years.

Sean is getting really excited as well to have the baby. Everytime I have more than one little contraction he thinks we should go to the hospital :-) Its pretty funny. I think he is more excited cuz he wants to speed to the hospital and basically be a wreckless driver like in the movies when realistically it wont be necessary.

Anyways everything is well and I am so excited for Tucker to come out a play....hopefully sooner than later but I cant get my hopes up!!

hormones

my hormones this week are soaring. I am not sure if this is a normal but it is not fun at all. I got a sudden surge of them or something and I am way emotional about everything. Sometimes I can laugh about it but other times I am just upset. Sean doesnt seem to understand anything about being emotional or anything and i swear he gives me a hard time about everything 24/7 and it always ends with me upset. I keep explaining that i am sensitive and he cant tease me like normal when im not pregnant but it seems he cannot get past it and it has worsened. I know I am out of whack cuz when he teases i start thinking that he has made it his life mission to make me upset when everyone knows that is just dramatic. oooh lovely hormones. All i can say is i cannot wait to be back to my normal self.

In the past few months I had plenty of little freak outs about actually having a baby and how much everything is going to change but I am getting a lot better now. I am now so excited to meet my little boy and see what his personality is like and what he looks like. I am still nervous of course and worried about how much work it is but seeing how much I can love my sisters little baby when he isnt even mine....i cant imagine the amount of love a mom feels for her child. Quinn isnt even my baby but i would do anything for him (including sitting in the back seat to make him happy in the canyon till my sister had to pull over and let me throw up :-) ).

My sister in law comes in tomorrow to stay with me for a week and then we head up to wyoming for the 4th of july. she is going to help me set up the nursery and then go to the eclipse opening show with my friends and me on my bday!!! How lovely that I get to go out on a date with Edward and Jacob on my bday...couldnt get better than that. So the next week is looking like its gonna be pretty exciting. cant wait!

Lots of Pics

Basically this is just a picture update for everyone and so that my sister can copy them to her computer :-) But the pic of me first is me at 22 weeks pregnant since a bunch of people have been asking me to post a picture

This is my grandma and great grandma in Portland OR

Tiger decided that Quinn was her baby and needed to watch him :-) so cute

Tucker Sean Murphy

WE are having a BOY!!! Im not gonna lie...I am a little scared. I always thought I would have a girl first so it threw me off a little but I am still so excited. We went to fetal foto and it was such a neat experience! We loved it. He was definately wide awake in me and using my uterus as his little aerobics room. The nurse was shocked that I couldnt feel him kicking yet cuz he was just pounding away in there. She said he was the most active baby she has seen in awhile. So we will see if he is the same way when he comes out! So i am 15 weeks now and my sickness is still getting better as long as I take my medicine to help it. But my stomach is getting more and more big every day. It is the weirdest feeling. You know that feeling when you eat too much and you think...my stomach skin is soo stretched feeling. Thats how it feels all the time but you are out of breath on top of it. And this is just the start haha.

Once in awhile I will feel something like a small kick of some sort but I dont know if its the baby or if it is just gas....I hear that is common haha. So here are some pictures of little Tucker

Another good news is that Sean and I think we found an apartment. It is a complete stealing deal and you better believe I did everything in my power to get it before the other people that were supposedly applying at the same time. I went slightly psycho and was throwing cash at the poor guy but I think we got it! We find out tomorrow. Its 3 bedrooms 1 bath and the best part....There is a DISHWASHER!!!! soo soooo happy bout that. So if we get it I will be painting it just to make it cuter and putting some cute wallpaper in the baby room probably. I dont know if you are allowed to paint when ur prego though but i hope so. Anyways Ill let u know if we get it!

mini baby bump

So I have reached 13 weeks with my pregnancy which I am pretty excited about. I am finally starting to have good days and some bad but at least there are good days in there. This week though I have reached the point where I am beginning to really notice my stomach. Its not big yet but there is something there and since I am smaller I think I notice it more. For example I love to sleep in a tiny ball and that is not working so well anymore with the stomach in the way. or bending way over. Another example is today I was climbing through the window which sounds weird but I was playing with my cat and decided that was the last time while being pregnant that I would be able to do it cuz it was a struggle. It is a very odd thing to get used to having something that kinda gets in the way when your not used to it....and im not even sticking out a bunch yet hhaha. But i love it and it just makes me feel more pregnant now that I have a little something. My baby is 3 inches long now and we just got to hear its heartbeat for the second time. it is so amazing.

Another plus is I have gotten my energy back and I think my mood is going up a little at a time. Most women are emotional while pregnant.....well im just angry. And who gets to deal with it? My poor husband Sean. I think at one point he was convinced that I hated him. Im pretty sure I am a scary pregnant lady but hopefully its fading but Sean would be the one to know if I have tamed or not :-) But the thought of hanging out with people and being in public is seeming more and more fun and I miss it whereas before I just wanted to lay around all day. So i am pretty happy bout that.

Here is a picture of my little tiny bump. I see other people at 13 weeks and they are showing so much more! Im like....come on baby grow!!! But here I am at 13 weeks